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crappy
向来不擅长于表达自己，
初次见面觉得我冷酷，
有那种接不进的感觉
散发出一股凶气
随时爆发

blehblehbleh
reply post to jane's
im sorry i made you angry
like first time you actually angry at me:(
i mean i know that you're not actually pissed with me,
that you're still talking to me
but still...

i don't want people to worry about me
i'd pretty much prefer to worry about others
to fuss around other people

i'm not good at expressing myself,
some things i say don't make sense to others
even to me it seems nonsensical
perhaps i think things through too carefully
and everything seems to be in order
but the words that spill are a jumble mess of what used to be orderly

and snapping at people seems like my past time
i have zero tolerance level
maybe to myself too
that's why i lose control sometimes
and just feel like crying

keeping things to myself, that's what i've always been doing
the expectations that seem to be non-existent
creates an imaginary gust of wind, that blows me of my feet
the feeling of insecurity and instability
the pressure drives me up the wall

i'm that insignificant,
people think i have everything
perhaps i do, i'm full in my family life,
i have wonderful friends, i have wonderful things,
all these brighten my life
but there's a patch of darkness
a shadow of myself
i should probably wallow up in that darkness
and see the world in brightness

i take things for granted
i should be damned
my life is a little dented
happenings in my life are too concentrated

i'm barely a sixteen year old
oh sweet sweet sixteen
but that's just so so insignificant

Sunday, July 6, 2008
+ + + 5:24 AM + + +